Are You Suffering From “Saviour Syndrome”???

It is easier for a rotten fish to spoil a good fish than it is for a good fish to make a rotten fish good.

Aha!! I bet you’ve never heard of the savior syndrome before; that’s because I coined that term to refer to a popular sickness common to ladies especially “good girls” or “christian girls”. Saviour syndrome is a disease caused by the “I can change him” virus that usually plagues ladies. And you know what, once this virus catches you eh, you become a missionary whose sole mission is to change a guy by dating him. Yes, you begin to see yourself as the saviour and messiah sent into that guy’s life to change him for the better. Are you suffering from this syndrome? Keep reading eh, you’re about to find out.  

How Do You Know You Have This Disease?

To know if you’ve got a disease, you have to look out for the symptoms, isn’t it? Here are symptoms of the saviour syndrome.

1. You think the guy is nice and caring but you notice a few vices you’re not comfortable with (such as smoking, drinking, battering, lying, cheating etc) and you believe you can change him. 
2. He doesn’t go to church, have a future ambition/life pursuit and you intend to make him have these by the time he starts dating you. 
3. You are prepared to nag him, threaten him with a break-up etc until he changes. 
4. This is not your first time of doing this; you’re constantly always meeting or dating guys who you intend to “change”.

If you find these symptoms in your dating habit, choice and pattern, you need treatment very fast.

Are You A Learner?

Yes ooooo, are you a learner??? Were you born yesterday? Those who have lived long enough know that you can’t change another human being, you can only influence them. And if you think the word “change” and “influence” are the same, check your dictionary and you’ll see that they are two totally different things. It gets harder when it’s someone you’re dating and it’s a guy. First of all, he thinks he’s okay as a person and secondly, if he wasn’t good enough, you wouldn’t have accepted him in the first place. Don’t get me wrong; people do actually change, but it’s not because someone forced or threatened them, it’s because they decided to change from within. Your words can only be an encouragement to change, not the actual reason for the change. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “men are hunters” right? What this means is that they may adapt or change tactics just to “catch” you and when they’re sure they’ve caught you, then just like a chameleon, they’ll change back to their original form. If you think I’m lying, ask a few older, experienced and married people you know and a few guys who will be sincere with you. That saviour syndrome of yours will only have you wasting your time pouring water on a stone.

Oh Girl, Wake Up!!!

It is easier for a rotten fish to spoil a good fish than it is for a good fish to make a rotten fish good. Instead of trying to turn a rotten fish to a good fish when you’re not a magician and you’re not Jesus, why not run for ya life? Quit that habit of hooking up with a guy and trying to change him. If he hasn’t changed because of God, why do you think he will change because of you? Besides, who sent you on such a mission? If God is leading you to do so, that’s different. But don’t go dating guys with a view to changing them; it doesn’t work that way. You may be thinking you’ve succeeded because he appears to be no longer doing those things and even follows you to church but I tell you, wait until he marries you; your story will become the next nollywood movie and join the list of stories that touch the heart. A word they say is enough for the wise. I’m out! Check out a similar helpful post here.

P.S: If I appear to be ranting, it’s because it’s a serious matter. And if you’re a guy with this syndrome, you need to quit it too. What isn’t good for the goose can’t be good for the gander either. Love you all. Xoxo

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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